Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
