I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
