Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(956): View more from Texas

You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.

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(914): View more from New York

It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.

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(410): View more from Maryland

When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.

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(972): View more from Texas

The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out

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(415): View more from California

I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die

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(310): View more from California

One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.

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(301): View more from Maryland

This whole brainwashing thing is easy!

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