I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
