White coat. Heels.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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