her vagine was all disorganized.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
