final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We just shotgunned beers for America
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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