I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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