so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Life without a bra equals bliss.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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