i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize