The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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