you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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