i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
