she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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