nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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