it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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