She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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