I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Randomize
