Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize