Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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