We won't sleep together?
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
