What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
