my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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