you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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