please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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