I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I think people are normalizing furries
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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