...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
