We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
