Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
