My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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