It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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