I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Randomize
