I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
