dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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