I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
