The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
