My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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