Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
