My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
