so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Randomize
