You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
True strength comes from lack of pants
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
