how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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