so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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