Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Is it penis luge time yet?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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