you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
