After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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