you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
