Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
