sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
