go do what you do best...puke behind churches
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
