**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
