Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
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