I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
