K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
