: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
