you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
