so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize