You're my little dorito
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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