I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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