pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
