could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
