Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I can't turn off my feet"
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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