This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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