okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
