i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
